2-15-15 post: Multiple Personalities

Question/comment: You said you would write about multiple personalities.

Response: There are many scholarly works about Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD) which is now officially called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).  This is not one of them. In this response, I am going to write about what people who have this mental health condition experience.  What follows are not quotes from any one person, but is a synthesis of experiences that patients have related and what I have observed take place in their healing journey.

People talk about “waking up” or suddenly becoming aware out of the blue. They may be unaware of what was going on previously, have a gap of time between what they were last aware of and now. Imagine “waking up” or suddenly becoming aware in a strange place, surrounded by people you don’t know who call you a name that is not yours.  Confusing? Frightening? And, in the midst of this confusion, the people are expecting things from you. Maybe children wanting attention, wanting lunch, waiting for a ride to school or so on. Maybe a mate looking for the usual interactions and reactions s/he has come to expect from you. Only it is not you they have been interacting with. It is someone else who has been using your body.  It was not some sort of outer space invasion, but an alternate personality that you are completely unaware of. But, you don’t know this yet. If you cannot fake your way through the situation, you may very rapidly find yourself on the way to a mental hospital. 

What if this sort of event has happened to you many times, but maybe on a lesser scale? What if you are yet again late for work, or again “forgot” to pick up the kids from school? What if you somehow have not attended class for a week or a month or all semester? What if you have no explanation for these things and don’t remember what you were doing since you left work yesterday, dropped the kids off at school this morning or last attended class? Can you imagine what a confusing and dysfunctional life such a person would be leading. Or, the chaos they create in their relationships with others? Can you imagine having such a person for a parent?

Those who are lucky will have someone to tell them, of another person who shows up and takes control of their body. It is not easily believed just because someone says it happens, but with modern technology people are sometimes shown video or other evidence of the other personality.  Some people become aware of another or other personalities on their own and come to the realization that they share a body with others.  There can be two or more other personalities and one can be aware of another without being aware of all others.  A personality maybe the message relayer between two personalities who are not directly aware of or directly in communication with each other. Is it any wonder that life can be very chaotic for such a “group.”  

There can be a division of “work” or responsibilities between the personalities. Maybe one is good with the children, another is good at driving, another handles the job, and so on.  It seems that often there is one personality who is the defender.  The less fluid the transition between personalities as the task at hand changes, the less fluid the moment to moment functioning for the “system.” Imagine having a group of people that have to come to agreement on every action, every decision, every task in order for you to live your life. And, what if one or more of those people tended to just bully their way into control to have things their own way without regard for anyone else’s thoughts or intentions.  These are the types of experiences that people with MPD often recount.

In my opinion, with psychotherapy, safety, and understanding, multiple personality systems can heal.  Such modalities as meditation, relaxation, tapping, and positive affirmations can all be adjunctive sources of healing and comfort. When a multiple personality system begins to heal, fragments of personalities begin to  integrate into the whole and begin to “fall away” or dissolve as “separate entities.” But, in my opinion, if the therapist begins by or at any point insists that all but the original personality must “die” or be dissolved into the whole, there will be a great deal of resistance to the therapy, even dangerous acting out by the personalities and the therapy may even be doomed to failure.  

The personalities must feel very comfortable with and must trust the therapist and the therapeutic environment.  Even the slightest mistrust can cause an upheaval in the system and a running from therapy. Labeling, judging, harshness, misdiagnosing, over medicating, impatience and misunderstanding can be some of the ways a therapist or therapy team can re-traumatize a patient and thereby hinder or interrupt the healing process. Additionally, each personality must be invited to engage in and must be addressed in therapy.  For example, a child personality will need play therapy or art therapy. A non-verbal personality will need art or music therapy.  Adult personalities may prefer talk therapy and so on.  The protector of defender personality will have to approve of the therapy for the others just as a parent or guardian would. 

In all, the road to healing for a person with MPD may be long and have many starts and stops, but can be done.  The patient can learn to give herself/himself credit for each and every attempt and accomplishment without self criticism or judgement for any “backslides” or diversions from the path. As the personalities learn to give each other permission to exist and learn to love, respect and accept each other, communication, cooperation and success becomes more and more fluid. The personalities may decide to merge but cannot be pushed into it by each other or from someone on the outside. Love, acceptance and cooperation are the keys to success.