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Friday, July 24, 2015

7-24-15 Post: Fear

Question/Comment: I know you have written about fear before, but I need more. It keeps coming up for me every time I start to spend money.

Response: Fear can be very deeply embedded in our psyche. It is something we begin learning from the day we are born. If we don’t examine our fears, they can shape our whole lives.

If you think back to how your parents or other adults felt about spending money, you may very well notice that you are replaying scenes from your childhood. Ask yourself how you feel about money in general and about spending money. Then ask yourself when you first felt that way. 

When you find your fears or negative beliefs about money, create a positive affirmation for yourself that is the opposite. Use this affirmation every time the fear or negative thought arises. Deep breathing can also help to calm you when you feel anxious.

Notice how you have spent money in the past. Is this what is frightening you? Have you been impulsive in your spending in the past or were you careless with money? If so, notice what patterns you have in this area and begin to ask yourself if you have been sabotaging yourself with money. 

Begin to seriously ask yourself if you feel that you deserve to be successful in attracting, keeping and using money. Take a close look at the ways you are currently wanting to use your money. How do you feel about yourself when you have plenty of money? How about when you have money and others don’t? What feelings and beliefs does that bring up for you?  


Monday, July 13, 2015

7-13-15 Post: Why is change so threatening?

Question/Comment: I constantly have to fight the feeling that I have to be right. If I have to make a change to my behavior or my thinking, I feel like a failure. I know that doesn’t make sense, but it is a constant battle. I see the same thing happen with other people.

Response: The ego is amazingly durable and yet in some ways very fragile. The ego feels that to change is to cease to exist. Ego always wants control and approval. From a larger view point, ego is understood to be a group of simple learned responses based mostly on our early childhood life experiences and later peak moment or traumatic life experiences. What is learned can be unlearned and replaced, but when we identify with Ego, it change feels almost like a death threat.

Taking control of the process is helpful and makes it feel more pleasant. It is also the best way to engage in change. When we look objectively at ourselves, our lives, our thinking and our behavior, we can see what brings success and happiness, as opposed to what brings pain and suffering. Assuming we choose happiness and success we can then maintain those aspects that bring that to us and change what fails to do so or brings us pain and suffering. 


In playing a game either alone or with others, generally people will stop doing things that don’t win the game and do more of what does win the game. What reason would living life be any different? Of course it is important for us all to check on our thinking and feelings from time to time and make sure we believe that we deserve to win, deserve success and happiness.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

7-5-15 Post: Creativity

Question/comment: I feel that my creativity is stifled by my life and all of my obligations. I miss my creative side and it makes me want to chuck everything and go find myself.

Response: It may not be necessary to go to extremes or to give up one aspect of your life to give more attention to the other. Can you find a way to carve out some time for yourself each day? If you can do that and just begin to relax, your creativity can begin to express itself in more obvious ways. 

Think about what things relax you, maybe walking, reading, yoga, meditation, a lingering bath, talking to friends or strangers? For everything that has been stopping you from expressing more creativity, create an affirmation for yourself that states you can manage both aspects of your life and then use those affirmations. This in itself is a creative process and will assist you in bringing more balance into your life.   


Notice your surroundings and yourself; begin to notice all the ways your creativity has been expressing itself. Are you expressing creativity in positive ways? What simple or small things can you do to express more creativity in positive ways? As with most things intent and follow through combined with self love and flexibility will take you where you want to be.