3-4-16 Post: What is the meaning of life?

Question/comment: I have really been wondering what purpose life has. Does life have any meaning? 

Response: The answer to this question may depend on the beliefs and experiences of the asker. There are many different theories to answer the question, “Does life have any meaning?” We might also ask ourselves what our reason is for asking the question which might lead us to more fruitful answers.

Many people say we are here to learn; others say we are here to teach. I think that we all do both. It is nearly impossible to go through life without someone learning from us and we certainly learn from life continually. Is that the only reason we are here? This leads to a whole other line of questions such as where do we come from and where do we go to when we leave? Who set up this school, who sets the curriculum and who judges when we graduate?

Some say we choose our own meaning and this is probably true for everyone. We find meaning in helping others, in sharing, in expressing, in giving. From our own experiences, our reactions to them and beliefs we have learned from others, we decide on meaning and purpose.

Many make others the purpose for existing. Parents might make the well being of their children their reason for living; others might make a lover or mate the center of their world. Some people say their mission in life is to be a good person and spread happiness. There seems to be at lest as many reasons for living as there are people.

Add to that the idea that we may have more than one “mission” or purpose in life, and the possibilities are endless. A person’s mission or missions may even change over time. The answers to these type of questions have to be answered by each individual for themselves. 

Some say we are the Source expressing itself for the pleasure of experience and expansion. Some say the reason the universe is expanding is that the Source needs more memory capability as it’s manifesting creates more experiences.

I wonder if answering the question is unimportant. Maybe the question is a tool we use to guide ourselves to slow down and look within. When we do that, the inner guidance arises and the question is answered in the doing, the following of the inner leading. 

2-22-16 Post: Dissatisfaction

Question/Comment: I am never satisfied and don’t know if this is a fault or a blessing. Can you please share your opinion?

Comment: It is our nature as human beings to never be satisfied. We can also say that nothing is satisfied. Everything and everyone is in constant change. Have you heard it said that the only constant is change?

So if you achieve a desire or accomplish a goal and are already thinking about the next thing you want to gain, there is nothing wrong with that. It is also not imperative. If you feel good just resting, just being, there is nothing wrong with that.

If doing nothing with no desire to accomplish becomes a constant condition, that can be an issue and may be a sign of depression or fear. Out of being, resting, “doing nothing” desire naturally arises. This is the creative process.

Very importantly, not being satisfied is vastly different from lack of gratitude. It is very important to be thankful for what you do have and what you have accomplished. The next thing is built on the foundation of what you have learned, made, accomplished and the appreciation and gratitude you have for yourself, others, things, and so on.

You might even say you can be grateful for your dissatisfaction as it motivates you to new endeavors and new heights. It keeps you moving and expanding in ever widening circles. Is this any different that the universe or life itself?

1-30-16 Post: Listening to your inner wisdom.

Question/Comment: There are always people telling me what they think I should do even though I don’t ask their opinions. How can I tell people to mind their own business without being rude or hurting their feelings?

Response: I’m guessing that if people are offering their opinions, it is because they care about you. Could you politely let them know that you appreciate their caring and interest in you while also letting them know that you have your own way of making decisions and choices for yourself?

This is a matter of setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries in a loving and kind way. At the same time, you might ask yourself if you are listening to your inner wisdom and following through with appropriate action in your self care and in your decision making for your life. What ever the situation, it is imperative to listen to your inner guidance and then weigh options and information with intelligence and clarity.

No one knows what the right path is for another. We each have to determine what our talents and skills are as well as the most joyful way to apply and use them in life. What is a right path for one may not be a right path for another even if they have similar goals, talents and skills. We each are unique individuals with our own soul directed trajectory.

It is also important to know ourselves well so that we don’t make choices out of anger or revenge or fear or rebellion. Meditation or some other means of knowing yourself is very helpful in this process. Know who you are and the emotions motivating your choices and actions. 

If you take a course of action because it brings you joy, you are probably right on track for your personal path. If your dread your life or some aspect of it, you may be off track. Listen very deeply to your innermost self and at the same time treat others with love and respect. 

I am not advocating abandoning someone you have an obligation to: I think there is always a way to work out the situation to meet your needs and theirs. And, in a relationship between two adults who are together by choice, when one changes, the other has the option of allowing that choice and embracing the new. 

1-11-16 Post: When do I have to consider myself old?

Question/comment: Everywhere I turn I get messages that I’m old. I don’t feel old and I don’t appreciate others attempting to limit me by their beliefs in old age. Although, I must say, I do appreciate senior discounts.

Response: Something I learned from Dr. Wayne Dyer’s 2016 calendar: Never let an old person inhabit your body. How you think will definitely determine how you live your life. If you believe you can’t, you won’t even try. If you believe you can, more than likely you will. 

Will you do a thing at age 70 the same way you did it at age 30? Probably not. That doesn’t mean what you do is not as good; it is just different. Leave out the criticism and judgmental attitude. If you want to travel, travel. If you want to dance, dance. If you want to start a new business or a new relationship, start it. No one can limit you but you. 

Accepting assistance from others is not admitting inability to function independently. If someone offers you help, take it. Maybe their perception of you as old spurs them to make the offer but accepting their kindness does not make you old. By accepting the offer, you are simply allowing love to come to you. 

You can even make clear to the person, that you could manage on your own, but it is so delightful to receive such a kind gesture that you would never turn it down. Everything is in the interpretation. Appreciation is everything.

If you feel youthful, you will be. If you love yourself, feel gratitude and take the best possible care of yourself that you can (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically), then you will have a life of joy regardless of age. Let love, joy and kindness flow to you from you and others. Life can be more and more joyous the longer we live.

If your body has a difficulty it did not have at a younger age, love it even more. Take even better care of your body and be gentle with it. Don’t push and demand a performance from your body causing damage and pain. Lovingly appreciate your body for what it can do and focus on that.   

12-23-15 Post: Is It Right for Humans to Love Unconditionally?

Question/Comment: I hear a lot about unconditional love and I think I understand the idea but I’m not sure I want to apply it in my life. There are too many times when someone is acting in a way that is harmful to me or others. I can’t just exude love and let it be.

Response: Unconditional love is an ideal, an archetype perhaps. It can be something we aspire to and something we receive. We are told by many people of their experiences beyond the daily facade of life where they return saying that our Source is unconditional love. They talk of experiencing this unconditional love when on the other side of the vale. 

There are many different aspects to this question. A personal quest to be and exude unconditional love does not mean forgoing appropriate action in life. If we see harm being done, we do what we can to stop the harm from continuing. 

Love comes into play when we attempt to help both the victim and the victimizer to heal. The trick is to love and totally accept the victim and the victimizer exactly as they are while stopping the harm from happening. If we step back and take a clear look, don’t we see that both have lessons to learn about love and compassion? Would they be involved in the situation otherwise?

We have the right and the duty to protect and take the best possible care of ourselves. The better care we take of ourselves, the more we have to offer others and the better example we set for others. The question here is can we take our appropriate action without condemnation or hate or anger?

Can we step in and stop the harm from being done to ourselves or others without condemning the one doing the harm? Even if physical action is required to stop the harm or if incarceration is required to stop someone from harming others again, can we do it by discernment, by judging the harmful behavior, not the soul or the whole being? 

I think these questions are the top of the iceberg and each individual will have to answer many of these type of questions for themselves. We each have an inner guide that will let us know what is right action, right thought, right directions for us at any given time. We each have things we have come here to learn, to teach, to accomplish. We are each individual energy expressions of the Source.

12-9-15 Post: Roles we play in life

Question/Comment: I hear people talk about people in our lives being our teachers, especially the ones that we have the most conflict with. Can you address that issue?

Response: What you have written is true but not so simple and clear cut as it might seen. We each have multiple roles we play in our daily lives and over a lifetime. We also have roles within roles and meta roles. 

Our everyday lives entail roles such as mother, daughter and life mate. Within those roles we have sub roles such as cook, house cleaner, chauffeur, lover, dishwasher, teacher, guide, wage earner, business owner and so on. Over arching or under arching those roles we may have other roles such as victim, victimizer, way shower, teacher and student.

Our roles also change over a lifetime. The roles we play as a child are usually somewhat different from roles we play as teenagers, young adults, middle age adults, older adults and much older adults. Some roles stay with us for a life time such as victim, victimizer, over giver, or user (unless we make an effort to remove those roles from our drama). 

These are the roles that people say we can learn the most from. I suppose this might be true due to the intensity of pain we cause ourselves with these relationships. The pain draws our attention and with that attention we can see our patterns and learn from our experiences. We are then in position to make new decisions and change behavior.

Each of us lives our own drama. We attract others to play specific roles in our drama and if the person we attract does not exactly fit the role we have them assigned to play, we do our best to mold them into playing the role more perfectly. For example if someone has learned to play the victim and attracts a person who is not a victimizer, the victim will learn how to push and irritate the other person until s/he becomes so angry that s/he becomes a victimizer.

That is not to say the victimizer is excused from abusive behavior. We are each responsible for our behavior and choices. The one who is pushed into being abusive has “written” that role for themselves into the drama they are living. We each have our dramas we live that overlap the dramas the people in our lives are living. If a person’s drama does not include a personal role for being a victim or victimizer, they will not stay in a relationship with, a friendship or an acquaintanceship with a person who does include those roles in their personal drama.

We don’t have to have pain, conflict and uproar in our lives to learn and change. We can choose to look at our behavior, choices, relationships and note what is making us happy, what is advancing our goals and what is not helpful. We can make conscious, clear choices about what to keep the same and what to change. By the way, the changes are made to ourselves, our thinking, our beliefs, how we choose to feel and what we choose to do. When we change from within, our outer expression of our drama changes automatically.

12-2-15 Post: Respect and Appreciation

Question/Comment: I would like to begin treating everyone and everything with appreciation and  respect. Do you have any suggestions on how I can keep myself focused on this?

Response: Sacred Touch as taught by Dr. Ann Marie Chiasson is a very good vehicle for this practice. She teaches focusing on gratitude, reverence and compassion while touching someone or something. Contrast that to the usual types of thoughts we hold in our minds when we touch ourselves, someone else or something else. In answer to your question here, we can even extend this idea as far as interacting with someone or something even if there is no physical touch. 

For most people when touching or interacting with someone we would have thoughts of irritation, stress, needing to hurry, self-questioning, self-doubt, wondering what the person wants, thinking about what we want from them, what is going on in the world, what someone said to someone else, something we said, things we have to do and on and on. Even if we are thinking gratitude thoughts it is usually about a particular thing rather than a general focus on a thankful feeling. 

How often are we distracted or in a hurry when we touch or respond to a child or a pet or a loved one? How would life be different if we focused on compassion and understanding instead? What if every interaction happened while we were focusing on the object, being or task at hand while also mindful of the Divine Source taking form as this person, animal or thing?

As you begin this practice start with yourself. Focus on the you that you know yourself to be. If you usually criticize yourself, begin the appreciation and respect practice with you. Then move to what is nearest to you, a pet, a family member, the chair you are sitting in. The more quiet environment might be easier in the beginning and then you can take your practice outside for a walk and then to the grocery and then to work and so on.

Written reminders in strategic places might be helpful. Place notes for yourself on your mirror at home, on the dashboard in your car, on your desk at work, in your shoe, wherever you will see it. It may take a while to get the hang of this and it may seem strange at first. Keep on and if you forget, just go back to it. Let me know how your practice goes.