9-5-15 Post: Death

Commentary: 

Many of you probably know that Dr. Wayne Dyer died a week ago. So many people world wide are expressing feelings of loss and at the same time celebrating his freedom and the grace of exiting earthly life during sleep. I never had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Dyer; I am greatly appreciative of his work and contributions to humanity.

What happens to the work of an influential teacher when the teacher dies?

I think that in a way the original work becomes fixed in time and place; the original teacher cannot make any further changes to the body of work from an earthly vantage point. 

The work itself continues to change and evolve from the work of the teacher’s students. In this sense the teacher’s legacy will affect eternity. Each teacher will live on in the students that live on. I have no doubt that great teachers continue to influence those who live on and in this sense continue to bring enlightenment to the body of work s/he left behind.

Some teachers are known world wide and some teachers work in obscurity. Every one of them deserves gratitude and love for their effort. There is no way to know the number of people influenced by a teacher. In a way, we are all teachers. One word, one event, one sentence can influence another person for life. That influence can spread from that one person to many others ad infinitum.

If we allow Dr. Dyer’s and other great teacher’s bodies of work to influence us, we will be better teachers for ourselves and others. As we move ourselves toward enlightenment, love, generosity, clear seeing and gentleness, we influence others to do the same. 

8-22-15 Post: What If You Could Fly

Question/comment: I keep hearing “think outside the box.” People keep trying to get me to think differently, to see things from a different point of view. But, I don’t see how that is possible. I wouldn’t be me if I thought like somebody else does. I would be a carbon copy of that person.

Response: What if we could fly? How would you see the world differently? Seriously, just imagine for a minute that you could see the world from fifty or sixty feet off the ground. What would that look like? How would it feel to be so light and have the air flow past your skin as you fly? What would it be like to see people walking down the street below? Can you imagine automobiles on the street, or seeing roof tops? In imagining what it would be like if you could fly, you have already begun to see things differently. 

The more you practice imagining different experiences, the easier it becomes. When you imagined what things would look like from fifty or sixty feet above the ground, did you cease to exist or are you still here reading this post? You still you. When did the exercise, you probably did change a little. It would have caused to be more of who you are. It gave you a stronger sense of self. Who you are has increased just a little. 

Your fears of losing yourself or your sense of self need to be gently, slowly addressed so that you can be more flexible. Your personality will not break or be destroyed if you relax and try to see things from a different perspective. It may be a good idea to seek professional help in overcoming your fears.

 8-15-15 Post: Who’s In Charge?

Question/comment: I feel like there is no time for me because I have so many things that I to do and so many people to spend time with.

Response: Who sets your schedule? Maybe it’s time to look at which activites are most important. Are there somethings you do that don’t really benefit you and you dont even really like doing them? Are these things necessary or is someone depending on you?  If others need you, can anyone else do the activity or at least help you do it? Can you eliminate some of the activities?

Also, can you consolidate socializing engagements? Which of your friends can mix together pleasurably? So, for example, can you have lunch with two or three friends at the same time instead of lunching with each of them separately?

It is very important to have time for rest, creative activities, being alone, and reading; sometimes you need to be able to do nothing. One of the most important things we do in life is to just stop and be. Just be.

Maybe it is time to start asking yourself, “What do I need? What do I want? How do I want to use my time and energy? How can I begin to provide these things for myself? 

The underpinnings for all of this is self love, self respect and self care. What do you believe you deserve? Change often takes courage and the will to succeed. It can be done and with the best interest of all concerned in mind.

8-6-15 Post: Adversity

Question/Response: I find myself in very difficult times financially. I don’t know how I got here and I keep beating myself up over being a failure.

Response: Kicking yourself will not help. This is the time to love yourself the most. While learning from your past actions and choices is important, chastising yourself for so called mistakes is a waste of time. Any negativity you feel toward yourself and your situation will only distract you from making positive changes.  

Look for solutions and helpful people. Let go of what you can and build where you can. Imagine the results you want and how help is going to come to you. Take help where it is offered and love yourself enough to ask for help. Take note of who can help you in what ways and then ask for and or accept that help.

Loving yourself is primary. Valuing and appreciating all of your accomplishments, all that you have given to others and your own uniqueness will make you feel good about yourself. Then you can let your creativity soar. This is the time to plan and begin new projects. Having lost what was makes room for what will be. 

How you define your situation is very important. See this in a positive light and nurture yourself on your new path. Let go of resistance and ask how you may love yourself to your next success.

Say things to yourself like:
“I love you and I will take good care of you.” 
“I will take care of you; I have never failed you yet and I ‘m not going to start now.”

Ask yourself, “What do you need? How can I help you right now?” 

There has never been a successful person who did not have some failures and some adversity along the way. Every successful person has accepted help from others. Don’t let pride get in your way. How you handle your current situation is the test. Will you love yourself through it? Will you accept love and assistance from others?

7-24-15 Post: Fear

Question/Comment: I know you have written about fear before, but I need more. It keeps coming up for me every time I start to spend money.

Response: Fear can be very deeply embedded in our psyche. It is something we begin learning from the day we are born. If we don’t examine our fears, they can shape our whole lives.

If you think back to how your parents or other adults felt about spending money, you may very well notice that you are replaying scenes from your childhood. Ask yourself how you feel about money in general and about spending money. Then ask yourself when you first felt that way. 

When you find your fears or negative beliefs about money, create a positive affirmation for yourself that is the opposite. Use this affirmation every time the fear or negative thought arises. Deep breathing can also help to calm you when you feel anxious.

Notice how you have spent money in the past. Is this what is frightening you? Have you been impulsive in your spending in the past or were you careless with money? If so, notice what patterns you have in this area and begin to ask yourself if you have been sabotaging yourself with money. 

Begin to seriously ask yourself if you feel that you deserve to be successful in attracting, keeping and using money. Take a close look at the ways you are currently wanting to use your money. How do you feel about yourself when you have plenty of money? How about when you have money and others don’t? What feelings and beliefs does that bring up for you?  

7-13-15 Post: Why is change so threatening?

Question/Comment: I constantly have to fight the feeling that I have to be right. If I have to make a change to my behavior or my thinking, I feel like a failure. I know that doesn’t make sense, but it is a constant battle. I see the same thing happen with other people.

Response: The ego is amazingly durable and yet in some ways very fragile. The ego feels that to change is to cease to exist. Ego always wants control and approval. From a larger view point, ego is understood to be a group of simple learned responses based mostly on our early childhood life experiences and later peak moment or traumatic life experiences. What is learned can be unlearned and replaced, but when we identify with Ego, it change feels almost like a death threat.

Taking control of the process is helpful and makes it feel more pleasant. It is also the best way to engage in change. When we look objectively at ourselves, our lives, our thinking and our behavior, we can see what brings success and happiness, as opposed to what brings pain and suffering. Assuming we choose happiness and success we can then maintain those aspects that bring that to us and change what fails to do so or brings us pain and suffering. 

In playing a game either alone or with others, generally people will stop doing things that don’t win the game and do more of what does win the game. What reason would living life be any different? Of course it is important for us all to check on our thinking and feelings from time to time and make sure we believe that we deserve to win, deserve success and happiness.

7-5-15 Post: Creativity

Question/comment: I feel that my creativity is stifled by my life and all of my obligations. I miss my creative side and it makes me want to chuck everything and go find myself.

Response: It may not be necessary to go to extremes or to give up one aspect of your life to give more attention to the other. Can you find a way to carve out some time for yourself each day? If you can do that and just begin to relax, your creativity can begin to express itself in more obvious ways. 

Think about what things relax you, maybe walking, reading, yoga, meditation, a lingering bath, talking to friends or strangers? For everything that has been stopping you from expressing more creativity, create an affirmation for yourself that states you can manage both aspects of your life and then use those affirmations. This in itself is a creative process and will assist you in bringing more balance into your life.   

Notice your surroundings and yourself; begin to notice all the ways your creativity has been expressing itself. Are you expressing creativity in positive ways? What simple or small things can you do to express more creativity in positive ways? As with most things intent and follow through combined with self love and flexibility will take you where you want to be.